Thursday, November 3, 2011

Babies having babies...

First, let me start off my saying this is my personal blog, therefore it is my personal opinion. You do not have to like or agreed with what I have to say but it is my right to say it. Most of the time this blog is random and primarily fashion-oriented, however, occasionally I feel like sharing other things. Today is one of those days.

Ben and I have been "officially" dating for almost three years now and have lived together for for quite some time now. We are not engaged, and we aren't planning to get married for some time. A lot of people do not agree with us living together and not being married (my parents included.) However, we are adults. We are responsible and we know we are going to get married and we have a wonderful relationship and look  forward to our future. (I'm sure your trying to figure out where this going, I promise its not about relationship stuff I'm just giving background info.) Even though we know the direction our lives are headed many people constantly ask about us getting married and having children. Yes, we want both but just not right now. Ben is starting a new job, I am finishing grad school and preparing for my first teaching job. There is a lot going on right now and we don't need to add to our lives at the moment. Both getting married and having children is expensive and we are not in the position for either right now.
I come from a large family (I'm one of five) and I have seen first hand the expense children can be and the strain it can put on a family. As far as I am concerned my fur-baby Annie is enough of a child for me right now and to be honest I never really wanted children until I was close to thirty (GASP! that sounds so old lol) I just want to have time to enjoy my life with Ben and feel settled and financially stable.

Recently, I feel like I have encountered numerous girls that have gotten unexpectedly pregnant. And it angers me. I do not care if you have sex before marriage, I don't care about that crap (I've been living with my boyfriend for a long time now, remember) I do care when you don't use proper birth-control and get pregnant and are not prepared for a baby. A baby is a serious thing not be taken lightly. And shows like Teen Mom and The Secret Life of the American Teenager glamorize a situation that shouldn't be. Having a child is not glamorous, its hard. Having a child when your still a child is even harder. A few nights ago Ben's little sister came home with her childhood best friend, who brought along her daughter. She is 19, married, and has a daughter. Let me say that again, she is 19, married, and has a daughter. She lives with her in-laws and works at McDonald's. What a life. This is exactly where there are birth-control options. So that you do not have to have a life like this. You deserve better, a child deserves better. Your child should not have to experience the struggle in life because you weren't prepared for becoming a parent, that you weren't even a grown-up yet. And you shouldn't put yourself in a situation where you are getting married at 19 because you are pregnant. Marriage is not the answer to pregnancy. Marriage is not the answer to a lot of things, but many people seem to think this is the case.  I know that sex and birth-control are a taboo topic but I think its an important topic these days. Kids are exposed to too much at an earlier age now and they need to realize there are consequences to actions and there are precautions that should be taken. There are so many girls that are getting pregnant and aren't ready to be mothers. If you are going to have sex then you need to be responsible about it.  And if you do get pregnant don't expect me to be sympathetic towards you, the only person who will receive my sympathy is your child. They didn't put you in the situation, you did. And be grateful that your parents still support you. Mine would have disowned me if I came home and said I was pregnant. I'm lucky they didn't disown me when I moved in with Ben.

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